Its All About *Da

My thankius to all

Okie, few hours from now, I will be at Prison HQ, then to Home Team Academy..
Goodbye to shaking leg..
Hello to the NEW World..

With these, I would like to express my greatest gratitude to those who wished me luck, spending time with me in one way or another and all.. Really thankiu guys.. U guys must take a very good care of yourself.. Hope to meet u all someday k.. Keep in touch ppl..

Taggers Replies:-
blog hopper:
Not really a pro dancer.. Just a freelance only.. All the best in dancing k..

Maz:
Hey, Im ok now and evrything is just niceeee.. Glad to spend time with u esp at the cineleisure.. hehe.. See ya ard..

hanani:
U take care aight..

a fellow clt:
Hey, thanx.. Got ur msg.. Ermm, do drop by and identify urself aight.. Thanx..

Sis_Dada:
I mish ya damn loads.. U take good care aight.. Hope to see ya ard..

Tha Clover:
I believe u got ur ans aight.. Take care Fizzy..

zaz:
Hey, u take good care aight.. Gonna mish ya too.. See ya soon k..

42:
Hey buddy, take care aight.. Cant wait for the jersey..

syamsinator:
Hey, mish ya too.. Take care aight..

LeRa:
Link u up soon k.. Take care..

effurr:
Its okie la gal.. U take care k sis..

chins:
Hey, Happy belated V day.. Hehe.. Gonna mish ya lame craps man.. Takle care dudette..

Pwincess:
Hey.. Take care gal.. Yep, prison la jawabnye.. Hehe..

~ Smooching each other at 7:29 AM!! ~

Clouded Minds - Vapour eyes

"As the fingers spent its time typing this words of mine..
The sorrowful tears bottling at the verge.."

Woke up early in the morning.. Rest for 15 mins here and there and finally decided to bath at 8.15am.. Was ready by 8.30am.. Woke up my sureties..

Signing up the Training Deeds today at 11am at Prison HQ.. Was eveready for it.. While waiting for my sureties to get ready, ate cereals while surfing the net.. Smily so early in da morning..

Drizzling by the time when we reached there.. Finished my lolli upon reaching.. Saw my senior Iskandar with his sureties.. Read documents, being briefed and sign docs..

My mind is whirling after the whole signing deed ended.. Like seriously.. But all that blown away by the wind when I rushed off to my self-declared last parade in BTS.. Or rather, my last time in NCC.. For real..

Wore the uniform for the last time.. Cadets shocked upon my presence?! Discipline down the drain but fun still need to go on.. Had fun with games and serious with the Part Ds.. Tell each and everyone about what is good and bad in their dressings.. Haish.. Teachers helping me out to boost my confidence for the Prison Career.. Rebuild the confidence in the Part B boys.. Acted as the CO for dismissal parade.. *Salutation*.. Went home with the cutests, so called bro and sis..

Back to reality.. I feel like breaking down any moment.. For real.. Once I embark on this new journey, I got to sacrifice everything.. No more of the mentions.. Dance, NCC, Hockey, TVs on weekdays, offers from outside companies to work as part timers and a whole lot of me will have to be erased for BLOODY 2 YEARS.. Else I got to pay back like 20k.. Why no more of the mentions.. Simply, I must not get injured outside of trainings esp when my ankles are much fragile rite now.. Tats not the saddest part.. Training extended to 5 months due to the moving Home Team to Old CCK rd in March.. Still, its not the saddest part.. I got to read, study and learn the law chapters which is freakin thick.. Not the saddest part yet..

I just cant put my mind to ease.. I freakin dunno what to be expected and what to expect from the Basic Officer Course.. Its like a whole new thing.. I guess Im being paranoid but Im really scared if I eva gonna screwed the whole thing.. A week of Orientation.. A week of Attachment.. Before the actual training start.. I dunno wat is wrong wif me.. Maybe I just need time to chill.. Im really scared.. No kid.. Aaaarrrgghhhh.. Feel like pouring then maybe I will feel better.. Just let me cry in silence..

Trying to smile.. :)

To those whose taking 'O' Level results tmr, all the best and may u get the grades tat u all have been wishing for.. Especially to my titans.. Goodie Luck!!

My sis msged the whole family that insya'allah a new born Adam will be gifted in june this year.. According to my kak, in the 3D image, he is normal.. Plush, he is a shy baby.. Aww.. How lovely.. I hope to meet my nephew soon.. Insya'allah.. Syukur pada mu ya Allah.. Sesungguhnya kau lah maha kuasa..

Oh, my dear sistas Sarah, Hana and Dessy askin me out for dinner tmr at Cityhall, Sakura.. And the Titans wanna meet up for dinner too at Cityhall.. Man.. Im really broke.. But tats not the prob.. I just too depressed to meet anyone for I dunno wats the heaviest thing in my mind tat could possibly bring my morale and dignity down today.. But I see how.. Maybe I meet my sistas..

Ok, enuff said.. My visions kept being blurred.. Cant bring down the tears.. Bottling up feelings with unspoken words..
I need someone to talk to..
I need a shoulder to cry on..
I need to be hugged now..

Drifted slowly, with head low, morales down, faded away..

~ Smooching each other at 11:00 PM!! ~

My Foreva PrInCeSs HaRyAnA

I cant get enough of her.. And now Im missing my dear Princess Haryana a lot..

Okie, so we went out today.. 2.30pm at Tampines Small Mac.. Headed to Sky Garden and reminiscing the memories.. Gosh.. From my prison application: from the signing up - 1st assesment: handing out docs - 2nd assesment: interview - 3rd assesment: job preview and fitness test and last assesment: Medical check up to couple of topics, summarised, the Princesses, Poly life, guys, my love life, her poly times, the TP dudes, cam whores and choco ice blended and one last thing:- my stomachache.. Haish..

Sho much fun.. We went to the fitness corner just to take loads of pics.. Then headed to Gazibo which happened to be another fitness corner and took pics again.. Tat is how bad our cam-whoring is.. Hehe.. And yah, my stomach had to spoil the day.. Haish.. Uurrrgghhh.. So we decided to head home and hour earlier.. Yeah, we acted like a les for a moment.. Hehe.. Jus u know tat put hand ard the other arm.. Nothing much la.. We both STRAIGHT okie.. Plus I got my syg okie.. Took pic along the way to Tamp int.. Haha.. Kewlness..

Enuff said.. Enjoy the pics..

~ Smooching each other at 11:59 PM!! ~

My instant confessions

My soul just died..
My heart just bleed..
Everything falls apart..
At this very instant..

Why?!
Because..

Cant talk..
Cant speak..
Whispering..
Sweet nothing..

Huh?!
Meaning..

Hugging..
Kissing..
Be it virtually..
Or the reality..

So what now?!
This was what happen..

Liking each other..
Love is in the air..
Yet the truth..
has never been told..

My sayang, my dear..
The one and only..
Has a gf..
And an angel..

Nothing to say..
Just want to know..
Who he wants..
The most in his life..

We live one time..
True love one time..
Marriage one time..
Death comes one time..

Decisions need to make..
In order to live at ease..
I hope to hear..
Ur truly choice..

My decision is final..
Tat is to be with u..
Brave thru storms and weathers..
Regardless of circumstances..

Now left with u..
u, u and the only u..
Nothing to say to u..
Please be true..

~ Smooching each other at 11:54 PM!! ~

Truths - Confusion - Heartaches - Lies --> Which one is it?!

Haish.. How do I begin this.. Haish..

All this while Ive been living in a love fantasy.. I always dream that this fantasy will come true.. Which it did.. But I cant express to anyone, not to the whole world.. I have to tell my closests cos they know that I have always share my deepest thoughts and probs with em.. But still nothing can solve my situation as it needs both hands to clap..

Been hiding my true feelings.. I thought I could rely on my blog, not the whole frame but at least, the minimum.. Im heavenly wrong.. Before I could actually put my mind to ease, there the gf had watched me like a hawk.. Sorry *H*, cant help it tat Im being watched in this very blog.. I mean yes its true, I keep myself updated bout them.. But not because I want to destroy them or what.. Just want to know where i really stand in this position and at least know how my future lies from there..

Well, soon enough, the gf, him and me met and talked.. For hours, still not solved.. Haish.. I just kept my true feelings.. Not worth being true to myself since I was the one who supposed to be at the losing end.. Haish.. If u really know what I mean.. Actually, I dont wanna make matter worse thus dont wanna meet the gf but when I read her posts, I got pissed off badly and so there was I meeting the eye of the beholder.. He told the gf that he dont love me and I was the one who keeps expressing my love to him.. Plus he could not avoid me and stuffs.. Seems like Im a desperado rite.. Haish.. How could anyone take it.. Can u handle such things..

I decided to say it all.. But when I met him and the gf, things changed.. Im losing.. Whatever.. I helped them but who help me.. Allah.. Tats my ans..

After sometimes, things got bad btw them.. I dunno whats their actual status.. Even *S* and I were the victims of this whole issues.. Haish.. When can I ever hear the real story.. When can I ever stop hurting someone's heart or be hurt myself.. What can I do when I have never tell lies.. Its entirely up to him now.. Hes the one who started this, only he can end this.. Well, I can end this too actually.. Just that I wont end this matter without hurting both parties, including myself.. Cos I speak da truth and da truth hurts.. So I jus wished he has neva lied to me all this while cos if he did, he will receive his retributions.. Our promises..

To my syg *A*,
Tho I trust u a lot but as a girl, we do trust our judgements.. Sometimes I feel that u are troubling urself with troubled gals like me.. Cos u see, u have the simple path to go thru in ur life but u chose to brave thru storms and weathers with me.. Even so, u are still with her.. I cant even tell who do u want in ur life.. And Im really scared, just like *H*.. Cos we both, tho have different positions in ur life, dont want to be treated like a queen at one moment and then a shit after some times.. I just hope u make up ur mind and hope that when the time comes, I will be here to respect ur decisions.. Like her, I dont want to share my property with anyone else.. But it seems that u always have back ups.. U have ur angel, u have ur gf and u have me.. The 3 of us are always here for u.. But honestly, I hope u can decide the ONE and I can tell u, no enemies made.. Just some hearts broken BUT be assured life still have to go on.. Till then, feel the wind if u miss me cos tats the wind tat gonna prove to u how much i syg u alot..

~ Smooching each other at 8:49 PM!! ~

Nervous Breakdown + Missing my peeps

Hey hey..

Ive been busy lately with my never-ending activities.. Well, what should I post about now.. Hmmm.. Oh yeah..

Nervous Breakdown:-
As most ppl know.. Prison Officer had make my nerves wrecked.. Basic Officer Course on da 15 Feb 06 really gives me butterflies in my stomach and never fails to think out of da box like "What is going to happen there?", "What should I do?", "What will become of me?" and all sorts of curiousity questions.. My sis Yati also felt the same way as me.. I felt like Im gonna break down anytime soon.. I dunno why.. But Im really scared.. This is different from NCC.. Different from everything else that I have gone through.. Really praying the best to Allah for my sister and I..

"Positively Optimistic".. That is what Im going to focus when I get there.. Am trying my best to cheer up while it last.. Will really like to thanx all my peeps for being there for me, consoling me, comforting me in one way or another.. I have my visions and dreams to fulfil.. Hope I can achieve em.. With this, I hope Yati and I make our way through together in our career.. Not forgetting Iskandar, Norish and the others who will be going in too..

Missing My Peeps:-
I really really hope to meet everyone before I actually carry out BOC.. Loads of peeps to mention.. So a big shout out to my friends in NCC, EAST Cliques, Titans, BTS, TPDE, Dance, Hockey, TP Princesses, TP dudes and anywhere else.. Make a date with me before 15 Feb k..
Gonna mish y'all loads..

"Gonna mish my TV dates, my mum's cooking, my outings with friends, my never-ending activities, NCC, Dance, Hockey, running with Aswandy, my friends, my gfs, my syg, my evrything.."
Haish.. Haish.. Haish..

~Urrrggghhhhhhh~

~ Smooching each other at 4:01 PM!! ~

The GREATEST Match Ever

1st february 2006..
Wednesday..
8pm..
Delta Sports Complex..

Singapore Cricket Club (SCC) - Us in yellow white jersey, black skirt and yellow socks..
vs
Ceylon Sports Club (CSC) - Opponent in orange jersey, black skirt and black socks..

The match began..
We have the ball..
In less than 5 minutes, HANA scored the first goal.. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!! Kept shouting "Shes da MAN".. Haha..
After some hard time, the opponent scored their first goal.. Daymn..

Bad News:-
I was B-A-D-L-Y injured on the first half..
One of the opponent and me BANGED into each other, causing my right cheek to be in pain.. Managed to recover once I saw the ball..
BUT my right ankle TWISTED at the wrong time and I SLIDED on my left knee which was scratched on Nis Party caused by Khalis..
Before the halftime went through, thanx to my opponent that I was TRIPPED, FALL and SLIDED at the same, causing my left knee to be scratched again and my legs were HEAVENLY in PAIN.. All really thanxed to my opponent for putting the stick infront of me..
Could have tried to score and plus, a PENALTY SHOT for that cos it was in a D..

Halftime..
1 - 1

"Fidah, u are doing well.. Stay where you are.."
"Are u ok?! U want to rest or.."
Coach Kevin's concerned..

"Im ok.. Im going all out.."

"Play the last half like ur last 35 mins.."
Captain Mis had spoken with a cheery voice..

"S-C-C.."

The opponent started off the second half..
Not long, they scored..
2 - 1
Morale's down BUT heads up high..
A long corner shot from Yatze, deflected my stick in the D and bounced up to the goal net..
Daymnn that goalie had to save it..
Slammed my stick to the ground..
Its the perfect deflection goal..
URGHHHHHH..
Few mins time..
PENALTY SHOT FOR SCC..
"Fidah, can u take it?!" I think Coach Kevin had gone berserk when he said that..
"No.. Ain will be taking it.." Pheww.. Go Ain..
SCORED!! U go AIN..
2 - 2
Not long, Virma got boiled up by the opponents' coach.. Vulgarities.. Somehow, the male umpire ate the chillies.. Captain Mis got the yellow card for that..
Down with a player.. Daymnn..
Stronger than ever..
Not long, penalty shot for the opponent.. Daymnn..
Pray hard..
YESH, Supranee was da MAN.. She saved the ball..
Again, da MAN, Miss HANA scored again for the second time..
3 - 2
Opponents kept getting the shot corners.. Scary.. Pray hard..
Defenders were the MEN of the Match when comes to opponents' shot corners..
Saved loads of bloody shots..
It took bloody long to end the match when suddenly..
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP..

HOORRAAAAAAAAYYYYYY.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH..

SCC vs CSC
3 - 2
WE WON!!

Debrief:-
Coach Kevin's words..
"We started off quite ok and we ended up very well.."
"Fidah, if u have scored that goal, it will be the GOAL OF THE SEASON.."
It was all nice, stick flat on the ground, deflection high but too bad the goalie managed to save it..

1st MAN of the Match --> Siti Nurul' Hana (Left Wing)
2nd MAN of the Match --> Supranee (Goalie)

My last U21 mtach of the year.. Sigh..
Prison Officer coming up soon..
Catch me in actions in SCC Cubs Women Division 1..

~ Smooching each other at 11:02 PM!! ~